Where The Light Gets In

I get lonely again In the exhale of your conversation, In the space between The things you’ve said and the things you’ve yet to say. I’m ashamed of the ache in it Of the hot need of it all, Scared that I’ve forgotten How to be a whole person on my own. I take my… Continue reading

You told me you loved me at Christmas, Gin soaked and wide eyed. Lips slack with the Christmas lights And the contrived wonder of it all I knew it wasn’t love, just enough of something For you to want me to think it was. I never said the words back. Not once intentionally avoiding the… Continue reading

We both loved the baby More than we loved each other Enough, maybe, To keep on pretending to love But never more than that. You’ve never liked my mother And when you really want to hurt me You tell me we are the same, Cut from the same cloth You say, As though these stitches… Continue reading

It’s unhealthy, this thing. Seven years in the trenches feet stuck in the mud of it all. I worry I’m getting trench foot and you laugh and tell me I’ve always been a hypochondriac and why am I always the one bringing the sickness can’t I just let a thing go? I get good at… Continue reading

I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore. When do you think it will all become clear ?’Cause I’m being taken over by the fear… I’m biting the inside of my cheek with just enough force to draw blood. If I can taste blood, I’m okay. I haven’t fallen off the planet yet. I… Continue reading

Oh well, I’m sorry, but I do not care to wait. Dare not walk through the light It’s been forever since I’ve written a blog post. Needless to say that’s usually a sign that something is amiss. When I was depressed it was easy to purge the thoughts and the words. I was all too… Continue reading

“Memories, they mess with my mind Who am I to deny? She was so good at being in trouble” I’ve never realised before how much I hate peeling boiled eggs. It’s only four eggs. And I’m obligated to feed my children but I consider taking a power nap after egg number two, such is the… Continue reading

“But it’s just a faint taste in my mouth I think I’m coming down…” I wonder is there a finite number of times your partner has to come home from work to find you in bed at lunchtime before you accept that maybe you’re not just a little tired and you’re probably a bit depressed… Continue reading

I’ve been cursed with the “McDonald Teeth” – that is to say that I have entirely too many of them and they’re all kind of jostling for space in my mouth in the same way people crowd around the reduced section in Tesco, When I was around 7 years old, it was decided that some… Continue reading

I’ve been home all day wrapped in duvets and feeling progressively more miserable with a head cold. So I did what any self respecting sick person would do and decided to cheer myself up by making Shaun bring down our Christmas tree… This Christmas tree is almost 20 years old. The ghost of Christmas past… Continue reading